On Friday, November 9th I had my first MRI – and my first IV.  It was painless but I felt quite anxious.  The rhythmic, industrial MRI sounds reminded me of the goth clubs I spent so much time in in my teens. 

On Monday, my surgeon, VLT, called me to give me the MRI results.

I was in a meeting with my boss.  I left the meeting, went into my empty office, and closed the door behind me.

The mass is actually 6-7cm – larger than we thought.  Cancer cells are present in about half of the breast, including the nipple.  VLT recommends mastectomy – my breasts are small, and removing all of the affected tissue, plus a margin of clean cells, would leave very little behind.  It sound like it’s harder to reconstruct after such a large lumpectomy than after a clean mastectomy, and if I choose not to reconstruct, a flat scar would be more appealing than whatever would be left after removing most of my breast.  

Next up: genetic testing and a consultation with the plastic surgeon.  Genetic testing will reveal if I have a gene mutation that triggers cancer cell growth.  That will help determine my post-surgery treatment.

After we hung up I cried in my office for a while and went home for the rest of the day.  I think the following week has been the hardest week of this experience so far.  I had been preparing myself for this, but now it’s real.


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